People tell me that there are many comments about my "snarky" posts. It made me think about how I have been communicating. In the graphic design work I have been doing (which is bascally about creating communication), I can sometimes make hundreds of text edits a week. It's fascinating to watch a document get adjusted and refined and polished. I really like the polishing, and have learned a lot about grammar, copy editing and writing in all of my years of doing this work. It's safe to say that the formal tone I use on the blog probably comes from that. And it's probably off-putting for those who hate snobs and elitism.
In New York City, where I have done most of my growing up, calling someone a snob is often a compliment. And even though I am one, it means nothing about the way I treat people I meet. Almost every in-person interaction I have with other humans is lovely. Especially women. I have always found that I will have something in common with any woman I happen to meet. There is almost always some way of relating. I love to chat with complete strangers because there is no relationship baggage and it's often possible to have an unconditional exchange of pure human goodness.
Another thing I realized today is that I do not feel bad, sad, afraid, depressed, hurt or angry. There has been a bit of extra adrenalin over the past few days, but my conscience is clear. I did spend some time getting lost in what other people thought about me and what people expected me to feel—that was horrible. But the way I feel about myself is the same as it was last week. In fact, I feel stronger and clearer. I am telling you this because I also realized that the real suffering is happening with the people spewing hate, jealousy and all manner of negative things. I cannot do anything about that and it cannot really do anything to anyone but the people who are producing it and living it.
20 June 2012