As I said last night, I do not have a facebook account. But I did read Leah Ann's recent statement.
All I can add is that when I began helping my brother with gifts of about seven or eight bottles a week, the blog was on hiatus. I was working on producing the wish list orders, collaborating with Leah Ann on give aways and taking care of clients. It never occurred to me that I should reopen the blog to tell people I was helping an unemployed person have money for food and basic necessities. I mean, really, can you imagine?
I wasn't happy about the help. I felt like I was putting a bandaid on an open gaping wound. I worried that I was codependent. I worried that I wasn't giving him enough help, that I was preventing him finding himself by helping him—but I never thought about asking Leah Ann to eliminate other ebay sellers so he could get higher prices. Lynnderella is not that clever.
I saw that Leah Ann was refusing orders from known sellers. We did discuss it a few times. She always said that it bugged her that the people buying Lynnderellas just to resell for profit were preventing her customers who wanted to wear the stuff from having it since it was not ever going to be available in endless supply. There was a lot going on and I did wonder if maybe I was not foolish for being on ebay myself. I still may need to pursue selling there.
Leah Ann and Lynnderella were not partners, you know. I was producing and shipping from thousands of miles away. We are very different people and probably rather unlikely collaborators. I sold my product to Llarowe and she resold my products. We have very different lives and goals, but there seemed to be a mutual benefit in the relationship. When she contacted me about wanting to carry my line, I had only been producing for a few months. The hope was that people would be able to shop for the things they wanted in a more efficient way.
The truth is that I am not smart about business. I still wonder sometimes how I have not been eaten alive by the city I live in. One example is me at a new business presentation saying: "I don't know if I am the best person for this project, but I would like to try to be." I actually saw the interviewer's jaw drop.
What I am good at is worrying and creating. Lately, I am learning to let go of the worry more than before and trust that the Universe is a friendly place. I have seen many negatives become wonderful opportunities since I woke up and started to pay more attention to thinking positively.
It's still difficult for me to believe that I have to discuss this personal business in public, but maybe there is some purpose. It's not about hiding out and letting Leah Ann clean up the mess. I don't know what else to say.
What can I tell you? That the future of Lynnderella is uncertain? Well, as a matter of fact, yes it is. Do you want to know that there are several thousand bottles here that were intended to be filled and shipped to Llarowe to fulfill new wish lists? That I have several new limited edition lacquers that were supposed to be part of give aways over the next two weekends? That everything is up in the air? Well, yes, it is.
19 June 2012